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"Since all these things will be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be?"

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Embarrassment

I hate doing stupid things, especially in front of other people. But every time I get in my car to drive friends in my small group around, I always seem to embarrass myself. A few weeks ago I almost got into an accident when I was following my co-leader back from a restaurant. I didn’t see another car coming around a curve and we came a hair’s-breadth away from colliding. The girls in my car were visibly freaked out, and I too was alarmed. But I generally can keep a level head in these kinds of situations, and I pulled away without further incident. Then again last week, my small group went out for ice cream and I nearly had an even more serious accident in the parking lot.
I feel absolutely mortified that anyone would think I am incapable, or that people don’t feel safe with me, especially when I am in a position of leadership. I want to exemplify capable control, but I feel like I’m letting everyone down. These thoughts stick with me, and I can’t let them go.

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